MMMM?

What is up with McGriddles?

I have had them before, and every time I see them, I think “people must like these…they must taste ok, I should try it again” and every time I take one bite and regret my decision. And here I am again today, with a McGriddle on my desk, and just starting at it while I chew, thinking…

“Sausage should not be wrapped in pancakes.”

It’s a gastrotastrophy. Yes, I just made that up, and it means good food gone bad. Something that may SEEM like a culinary creation and avant-garde, but just comes off as sausage wrapped in maple flavored bread. And that’s not a good thing.

I’m all for pancake flavored cupcakes with bacon sprinkles…so you ask me, “why the bias toward McDonalds fare? It’s the same thing!”…and I reply with the one simple rule for food combinations.

1. Food should be either sweet OR savory with a sprinkling of its opposite. Sweet cupcakes with sweet frosting with a bacon chip – OK. Savory sausage with savory bread with a hint of maple – OK. Sweet pancakes with maple sugar chips wrapping savory sausage- NOT OK.

This rule can probably be applied to many aspects of life. I will leave it up to the reader to do so, and advise me on the outcome.

And apparently McGriddles can be used as a weapon. There is McGriddle FanFiction. McGriddles are already being copied in Dunkin Donuts ‘Waffle Breakfast Sandwich.’ And they have a Facebook page. And although all these things imply that McGriddles are a pop phenomenon, and I should respect it as such…the bottom line is…it just doesn’t taste right.

But I still ate the whole thing.

Online Dating EXPOSED!

This article makes me furious.

I take offront to someone who professes to write about how the online dating community is a waste of time when he cant even fill out a profile about himself. Clearly, this fellow has no abiliy to define who he is, what he wants, and shouldn’t be dating anyone at all until he figures that out. If trying to list your favorite movies puts you in paralysis of double-thinking, perhaps you should double-think yourself right out the door. What real woman wants to date someone that can’t decide what level of dishonesty he’s going with for today’s profile?

I think finding anyone in this crazy world that you like is winning the lottery. I think falling in love with that person and them falling in love with you back is like winning the lottery 3 times in a row and then Ed McMahon showing up at your door when you get home with a humongous Publisher’s clearing house check. And Ed McMahon is alive. That’s the kind of miracle I think finding your soulmate is. SO believe me when I say that finding MY soulmate on match.com was a miracle, one that was brought about by some very important things this man is clearly forgetting:

1. Know who you are. If you can’t define yourself, then take some time to get to know yourself. How can you become ½ of a whole if you aren’t sure what you have to offer?

2. Know what you want. Don’t be that loser who thinks the scatter-gun effect is real. If your only criteria in a mate is ‘breathing’ then get off the internet.

3. Be real. Don’t lie. Don’t write what you think the opposite gender wants to hear. Write from your heart. It ensures that the other heart reading your profile is the right one. If your heart has nothing to say...see suggestion #1.

And as my boyfriend and soulmate of 2 years (whom I met on match.com) added: "So we have a person who writes for CNN.com, what is presumably supposed to be a reputable news/analysis website, admitting that he gave up doing research for the article after what I can only assume was 10 minutes worth of work, yet still wrote the article anyway and tried to pass it off as some sort of cute insightful analysis of the entire industry of online dating. Come to think of it, there are plenty of things I have given up on after 10 minutes. Hey CNN! I need a job!"

If you want to, as this CNN.com writer says find "...a play land of false romantic promises and deferred risk” then by all means, follow his advice. Because not participating in life and not even bothering to try and look for that diamond in the rough is a sure way to REALLY make it a huge waste of time.

Mid-Century

I really like mid-century modern furniture. But clearly not as much as this person.

Been too long...

You know it's been too long in between blogs, when google asks you to re-sign in every time.

I only have one excuse. I punctured my eardrum. Granted, that was yesterday, but I think pre-pain was seeping in through parallel universes in the space-time continuum to give me phantom ear pain way in advance. That's my story and I'm sticking to it.

Some more random thoughts, because I'm too lazy to actually write a post with a coherent theme and meaning like Cheryl does EVERY FREAKING TIME. No, I'm not bitter. Just because she's a published writer, and awesome, and supercool...doesn't mean I secretly want to write a New York Times Bestseller just to show her up. Ok, maybe I do.

However, said best seller isn't more than 5 words long at the moment...so here are thoughts to ponder:

1. Michael Jackson's dead body. I mean, he was icky enough alive. Why would I want to see him dead?

2. Wood-fired Pizza. I would not think pizza could be better, but apparently firing it over wood does the trick. I would like to see Wood-fired Mac&Cheese, Wood-fired Bacon, and Wood-fired Cupcakes.

3. Cupcakes. Need I say more?

4. Paper. How is it that I seem to only have photo paper, or three hole punched paper in my house when I need to print something on regular paper. And when I need three holed paper, I only have regular paper. Or when I need to print on photo paper...you get the point.

5. Buffy. Sigh.

6. Who are these people that win the lottery? Has anyone ever known them? I have a suspicion they really don't exist, and the money is funneled in to government Black Ops programs. Not that I'm against Black Ops. I just would prefer to have the 39 million myself. Note to Black Ops people: I LOVE BLACK OPS! Do not show up at my door.

7. Why does an email to me, from me, always go into my spam folder? Jesus.

8. Does anyone want to get together and put really awesome neon puffy paint on our Keds?

9. Do kids still go to summer camp? I never hear about it anymore. Maybe it's because I don't have kids or befriend people with kids. Mainly because I hate kids, and wish they'd all go to camp.

10. Ebay higher volume purchased x discounted prices = the same freaking amount of money i would have spent on fewer things in better condition. Is having lots of crap better than having only some nice things?

My ear hurts. Enjoy yourselves, nasty readers who guilt me into writing blogs. Even though you don't email me, I know you're there.

Right?