Monday, April 17, 2006

Genghis Koffee


While getting coffee in the break room this morning, I heard that Genghis Khan killed 1,748,000 people at Nishapur in one hour in 1221. That wacky Ghengis!

I can't say I believe him. He's got a terrible reputation, and he might be a compulsive liar. He also tends to exaggeration. I might believe him if he said 'about a million' people. But the exact number 1,748,000? In an hour? That's what makes it slightly unbelievable. If you're going to make up stories, at least have them be logical. He was also avoiding eye contact when he told me this, so I think that's a dead giveaway.

It seems to me that he's establishing a vicious circle where he has to cover up for previous lies by telling yet more untruths. So if he had just admitted he jammed the copier, I don't think the 'killing people' lie would have even been needed! He gets himself into deeper and deeper water. In the end, he's always found out and by then the scale of the deception is immense. 1,748,000 people immense. If he continues to lie, I might have to tell him that our work relationship is seriously threatened. Not to mention the physical one.

And I can tell you with 100% certainty that the Genghis I know has never been to Nishapur. He can't even make it to Mammoth without making me pull the car over to get some air or throw up.

And he can't make it through Schindler's List without sobbing at the girl in the red coat, so I find it hard to imagine him killing 1,748,000 people.

As he says this lie to me this morning, he's pouring coffee into his mug, which is an Elvis bust. I think he could at least get a Genghis Kahn mug. He was also quoting George Burns, "Honesty is the key to relationships. If you can fake that, you've got it made" which although funny, isnt helping the 'evil conqueror' reputation. And it makes me question our relationship as well. I mean, who do you know who quotes George Burns? Pol Pot doesn't quote him. He's more an Steven Wright person. And I'll bet Pol Pot takes his coffee in a Pol Pot mug.

Speaking of Pol Pot - he's looking hot today. Did you see him in the grey suit? Brooks Brothers, I think.

12 comments:

Hyperion said...

Temujin is my very favorite character from history, and I so want to be mad at you for writing this, but I have to admit I laughed. Too often these days I think we take the fun out of mass-scale genocide. Thank you, dear Sara for bringing it back again.

Schrodinger's Kitten said...

You had to use his birth name. Show off.

Hyperion said...

Maybe I'm a show off and maybe I ain't (and who's the show-off, bragging about working with such a genius), but it's the same way I would call you Sara and not what future generations will call you: Freaking Hot Goddess (FHG).

Schrodinger's Kitten said...

When you pronounce that, it might not be such a great name.

Egan said...

Pol Pot?

Schrodinger's Kitten said...

Egan, Egan, Egan...you made me google-slap you.

http://www.google.com/search?hl=en&q=pol+pot

Egan said...

Ghenghis Khan's kryptonite?

Tracy Lynn said...

Now, see, Pol Pot said at the water cooler that he thought you were cute, and I said I thought you and Genghis were on the outs, and that you and I were diong 'Girl's Night' and if he just 'happened' to drop by....Well, you never did hold your liquor all that well.

Tracy Lynn said...

MWAH! Egan got google slapped! Sorry, Egan, it's just that, intrinsically, I'm a bad person.

Egan said...

the term "Google slapped" just got added to my list of banned phrases. Sorry. I'm not a huge Google fan.

Schrodinger's Kitten said...

omg, Pol Pot said I'm cute? Tracy, you better not be kidding. Make sure he comes to Girls Night on Friday. I'm going to wear 'that shirt'.

Google-slapping is fun. So is regular slapping, it's just harder to get away with publically.

Egan said...

Okay, you can slap me if you must.