Friday, March 30, 2007

The Great Burbank Fire of 2007

Just when I was getting all ready to complain that nothing interesting ever happens to me...something happened. The hills behind my house are on fire.

Tuesday, March 27, 2007

The Shallow End

A (former) friend told me recently that I'm shallow, and I have to now admit I am, since I am OBSESSED with my toenails today.

Specifically pink-barbie painted toenails. It's amazing how something insignificant and useless can make me feel like an awesome beautiful person!

So, to compliment that...I am also really thrilled that Elizabeth Edwards, the wife of Democratic presidential candidate John Edwards, is supporting stem-cell research.

Maybe we can talk about that while we paint each other's toenails. And John's.

Wednesday, March 14, 2007

It's a love hate thing

It's really annoying me that I like this song.


Listen to the whole thing.

It's annoying you that you like it too, right?

Friday, March 09, 2007

I am woman, hear me roar.

I discovered my electric razor needed cleaning (read: it wasn't shaving anymore). So in an amazing display of feminine wiles (read: 7 years of watching MacGyver), I took it all apart, cleaned it, aligned the heads, and reassembled it (read: made a mess).

Then, with a shiny clean razor, I shaved!

Somehow my brain was addled (read: thinking about the cute guy I met yesterday) as I was shaving my legs, and it was hurting (read: pain) a bit more than usual (read: not at all). Instead of stopping to see what was wrong with my razor, I just continued (read: an amazing display of ineptitude).

And what do I get for my trouble? (read: again...ineptitude)

A million tiny little microscopic cuts all over my legs due to a mis-aligned razor head.

Oy, the femininity.

Friday, March 02, 2007

I Onus You

Things to do today:

1. Use the word ONUS more often. But I put the onus on you to do so.
Pronounced: 'O-n&s) is a literary and legal term meaning burden or legal obligation of proof. It makes me think of "I put the evil LOST-jacks-tattoo jumping the shark crazyness on you".

2. Download that song from the new ipod commercials - Flathead by The Fratellis. You can't not dance. You CAN'T.

3. Dye the hair. I'm a natural blonde, but in that dirty, planet of the apes, live in a cave way. Although, once I dye it, it tends to be really yellow - like Jane Fonda's Barbarella.

4. Catch up on fellow blogs. I love when someone uses a comment from my blog as the subject of theirs. Makes me feel loved. Special. In a short bus way.

5. Taxes. I prefer death - can I pick?

6. Buy a slutty suit. Yes, I have a normal one, but I'm hosting a work event on Wednesday for 250 loan officers. As one of only 10 women there, it behooves me to look as 'easy' as possible. No, I'm not joking.

7. Finish reading my Dexter book.

I was trying to come up with an even 10, but since it's already 4:30...I don't think it's going to happen.

Maybe I'll try to create new swear words. Yep, that's a good use of my day.

Onus YOU, man! ONUS YOU!!!