Saturday, December 23, 2006

Merry mmmmmmm....

I opened mail yesterday, and there were a lot of Christmas cards. But most importantly, I got a christmas card from Domino's pizza.

I don't know what that means, but I'm thinking it means:

a. time to go on a diet.
b. time to go to the grocery store.
c. time to get some non-automated friends.

But upon further reflection, I noticed there was a coupon inside for a free pizza. My Dominos christmas present ROCKS!

Opening more cards, I got a SECOND card from Dominos. Also with coupon.

I don't get two cards from my parents, but Dominos adopts me as one of their own. I'm FAMILY. Say it in a Don Corleone Godfather "Leave the gun, take the pizzas"

I decided they're trying to make me super fat before the new year's resolutions kick in, and I stop ordering. I got all tearful at the thought they might MISS me. Especially since their 'gift' to me of 2 free pizzas costs more than most presents I got from real non-pizza-oriented friends. The local pizza joint wants me to have a happy warm full sausage and olive-d christmas. And that's something. Not sure what...but something.

So have a Merry Christmas, and remember this: if you cross the Domino family, we'll bake you into a stuffed-crust Hawaiian so nobody will find your body. Happy Holidays!

Thursday, December 21, 2006

Saturday, December 09, 2006


From here, my obituary.

It doesn't say I'm schtooping Chuck Norris, but it implies.