Friday, November 03, 2006
Your vs You're...it's not that hard.
Here we are again with the second incarnation of "Men: Are They Really Worth it?"
In this segment, I again went to yahoo personals and within 5 short minutes, I compiled this nifty list of the best (worst) headers for online dating. These are all real headlines of men my age in the L.A. area.
I thank God every day that I'm single.
I'm worth a million in prizes... - I'll take cash value, thanks.
Comedian - Needs Motorcycle companion - Dammit Jay Leno, get off the internet!
Are you really ready??????? - I'm going to have to go with...No.
Ok, Now What? - Now, I'm walking away.
Together We Can Make A Difference! - scream it with me - "G.I. Joe!!!"
My Basset Hound loves me - She's your type.
Are your no-wax floors REALLY clean? - If you're suggesting we 'wax them'...then, yes.
Oooh! Pick me! Pick Meeee!! - Last in dodgeball, last in life.
leave the g__, take the c______ - why the blanks? Gun, cannoli, we all know this.
"I could drink a case of you" - I don't need a me-drunk, thanks.
dOWNTOWN mAN lOOKING 4 uPTOWN gIRL - Billy Joel is back on the market- yippee!
I know your out there!! - Yes, some girl who doesn't know grammar is out there.
Searching for the 3rd partner - Not sure what this means, but...Kinky.
Ugly but Interesting??? - After the third question mark, I'm going to say...not interesting.
HELLO THERE TO ALL THE SEXY LADY - ....um, Hi Borat.
One Day At A Time - This is it. This is it. This is life, the one you get
So go and have a ball.
Few Good Man - You can't handle the truth!
travel gal needs a pal - Gal? I think you're confused, sir...
dork of all dorks - This might be cute if he wasn't holding a lightsaber.
My Biological Clock is Ticking Loudly - Clearly a real man's man.
I'm Jus D - Jus Go Away.
Play ball! - Let's save the sex specifics for after date 4.
Blink and you'll miss it... - Once again...let's save the sex specifics...
Joe is looking for his 'shortie' - Once again...
All Man with a Big Hart. - Yes, Robert Wagner is pretty hot.
Geez, I should put something witty here - Yes, you should have.
STOP THE CAR!I'VE GOT GREAT CURB APPEAL - But I hear there are termites.
Do nice guys really finish last? - If they want a happy girlfriend they do.
I know you are, but what am I? Infinity! - It's great to know there are mature men out there.
OOga Booga!!!!! - I'm scared already.
Looking but not really looking..... - Emailing but not really emailing you.
"JESUS FREAK" - Are jesus freaks really that self-aware?
Try to set the night on Fiii-eeeer! - What's Fier?
what is your brand of vodka??? - Is this indicative of our type of evening?
goodlooking,fun,honest,actor,no games - actor + no games = oxymoron.
I could put strychnine in the guacamole. - Is death a turn on for a lot of girls? Really...I'm asking.
PERSONALITY GOES ALONG WAY! - But not as far as correct spelling.
long hair, laid back, luv dogs, brain - I love my brain too, but I dont advertise it.
Allow me to introduct myself - into?
You like Garry Cooper? - No..but I love Gary Cooper. You?
Adventurous and ? - Incontinent? Covered in Boils? Nasal?
Waiting for Godot - Hate to ruin the ending for you..but he never shows.
Ow. It just makes my heart hurt.
Really. Thank God I'm single. Thank frickin' God.