Thursday, April 20, 2006

L.A. Story a.k.a. The Post Where I Get Name-dropping Out of my System.

Hyperion's blog a while back on Inside the Actor's Studio brought up an old memory of a former acting instructor Nina Foch, who was not only an excellent teacher, but was married at one time to James Lipton (host of Inside the Actor's Studio). Upon hearing this, the entire class' level of respect for her grew - not due to the connection but due to the 'holy crap - you put up with that blowhard?' aspect.

Nina was in An American in Paris with Gene Kelly. She told me once in confidence that he was a hottie. Like I needed her to point that out. I have eyes, woman!

Which round-about-ishly brings me to my topic - odd celebrity/actor sightings in L.A. This is the type of town where you can literally run into Christopher Walken on the street. Or you can do like I did and embarass yourself staring at him in the Good Earth Restraunt.

Randomly, I helped Michelle Pfeiffer sponge off her shirt when someone spilled coffee on it. Arnold and Maria Schwarzenegger talked to me for a few minutes about clocks. Talked to Jack Nicholson. Chatted with Chris O'Donnell about his shoes - have a great photo of us from a movie with me in a wedding dress, him in a tux. Looks like we're getting married. Dylan McDermot said Hi. Chatted with some playboy centerfolds at the 'oddest christmas party on earth' and felt really insecure. Met 'Russo the crazy French lady' Mira Furlan from LOST at a birthday party - kept thinking 'I know you from somewhere' and then der - after she left it all came back. sigh. At least it saved me from zoning about Lost while we were talking.

My most infamous encounter was when I tried to flirt with Dennis Quaid. I clearly was mildly drunk, since I did not realize it was Dennis Quaid at the time. He dissed me. I was hurt, but it's understandable. He's Dennis Quaid. But he is first on my list to shiv in the shower if we're ever in prison together.

Saw a ton of celebs, but I really only count those that I SPOKE to. For some reason that seems more real. Yeah, if you're a stalker.

I had a friend who once sat next to Madonna in a Malibu restraunt. He had the balls to ask her what she did for a living. She says 'I'm a singer'. He says 'How's that working out for you?'. He was an ass like that.

But this same guy flipped out when we saw Annette Bening in a Starbucks. You never know...

I had a different friend who sat next to Quentin Tarantino at a coffee shop. Without knowing who he was, upon hearing he's a screenwriter, she says bitterly 'Well, good luck with that'. She was kinda silly like that.

At least I just stared at Christopher Walken. And I didn't stare at Rachel Bilson. I just said 'Rachel Bilson is here?' really loud. She was right behind me.


Robert Wagner is going to attend this wedding I'm going to this year (shout out to Kristen! for cool factor.) I promise I won't hit on him. He's no Dennis Quaid.


Tracy Lynn said...

My former boss dated Quentin Tarentino for years before he was famous.

I never really liked her. Not because of that, but because she was a stupid bitch.

Egan said...

This post feels like something my mom would say. She loves to talk about her connections with fame. I want to see my name in a future post with blue line under it.

Schrodinger's Kitten said...

Oh, I have NO connections...just random moments of proximity.

Dragon said...

Dennis Quaid? Darling, come on, I've seen you all dolled up as a are so out of his league. He was a fool. :)

Schrodinger's Kitten said...

Awww! Thanks, Dragon! I'm saving myself for Richard Dean Anderson anyway.

Tracy Lynn said...

Yeah, RDA is HOT. Plus I like a guy who has a million uses for duct tape. *wink*
Oh yes I DID just say that.

Schrodinger's Kitten said...

yeah girl, uh huh - that's right!

(with a little head swirl)

Cheryl said...

When I worked at Book Soup, I helped Brendan Fraser, Fred Savage and Seal find books. And by "helped find books," I mean that I said, "No, we don't have that. Would you like us to order it for you?" No one ever did. In LA, we are all about instant gratification.

Tracy Lynn said...

Dude, instant gratification takes too long.

Hyperion said...

I have this friend Cord who recommends deflating the celebrity a rung or two. If they're cool they'll get it, and if not, well, you can always knit them an asshat.

What you do is be all Chris Farley about it, "remember when you were in....?" but pick random movies from when they were young and not stars.

So, for Dennis Quaid, you could say, "Hey, you were in the episode of Beretta!" You gotta keep a straight face, at least as long as possible.
(Speaking of Dennis Quaid, don't feel bad about the diss. He's an asshat. Now if you'd been dissed by Randy Quaid that'd be understandable. He's just dreamy.)

Cord did this to several celebrities, but the most famous I can remember was George Clooney. He runs up to Clooney like your typical besotted fan, yelling "Ohmygodomygodohmygod!"

Clooney smiles genially, expecting it, and then Cord hits him with, "You were in ATTACK OF THE KILLER TOMATOES! That's like my favorite movie of all time!!! I've seen it about six billion times!!!!!"

Cord keeps a straight face as Clooney clearly doesn't know how to react. Then innocently he says, "So, are you still acting or what?"

To his credit, Cord reports that Clooney laughed, shook his hand like a good sport, and said "You are the Man." I was suspicious, but a third party was there and confirms the jist of this.

Anyway, it requires some boning up on the IMDB page, but it makes for a great joke if you can pull it off.

Schrodinger's Kitten said...

Thanks for the longest comment ever, Hypey! I'm honored!

Awww...that makes me love George Clooney even more!

Cheryl- Brendan Fraser can read? How astonishing!

'Jax said...

When I was living out in Vancouver, I bumped into Jack Black and Steve Zahn while they were there filming 'Saving Silverman'. Also Dean Haglund (of 'X-Files' and more notoriously 'The Lone Gunmen'. He was the skinny one with the long blonde hair.) coming out of Golden Age Comics on Granville Street in Vancouver. A friend of mine there helped Jeri Ryan with her banking, he was the lucky teller when she came in with her then-infant son.

But the absolute best ever was just walking down the street behind dwarf couple and their teeny-tiny little daughter walking/swinging between the hands of her parents. I was actually thinking in my head, 'man, that's the sort of thing you don't see every day', when I recognized the man's walk. I rushed up and around, apologized for my rudeness, and then asked, "You're Warwick Davis, aren't you?" he smiled and said he was. I shook his hand and confessed fandom since Willow. He introduced us to his wife Samantha and daughter Annabelle (who was very shy), and said he was in town working on a TV project.

The only other brush with celebrity (if you can call it that) was one night in a Joey Tomato's restaurant friends of my wife and I started making noise about two Calgary Flames who were sitting in a quiet, isolated part of the restaurant. I'm not a hockey guy, and had never heard of either of them (Gretz, Lemieux, Lanny, Felix the Cat, or Domi I'll get excited for, these guys? Meh.) So I'm finally getting annoyed with all the little kid pee-dancing their doing in their seats about these two hockey players. So I cage a pen off a passing waiter, snag a napkin from the table, and carefully (so as not to spook their internal and inherent goon) approach the table. They were very pleasant, and laughed when I said the folks seeking the autograph were too intimidated to ask, so here I was. They scrawled their names and good wishes on the napkin. I thanked them, and then walked back to my table, glancing at the writing as I went.

Jerome Iginla and Miika Kipprusoff.

Who the hell were these guys? Nobody's, I figured, and handed the napkin over to our friends.