I just got gangraped by 10 women and 1 really flamboyant gay man.
Ok, it was at Sephora, and not rape per say, but I'm sitting here looking an awful lot like a cross between George Hamilton and RuPaul with over 150$ of unnecessary bronzer.
I barely made it out alive, after being spritzed and fluffed within an inch of my life. I never have been cornered animal-style at a Sephora before, but going at an odd time, I was the ONLY customer in the store and there were 15 salespeople just staring at me with that hungry hyena 'must... apply... stain and gloss..." look. After getting bronzed, stained and slathered in not 1, not 2, but 3 kinds of perfume, I broke free from the pack and ran for the counter to purchase enough goods so they'd let me go unscathed.
I'm a makeup whore. And now I look like one.
2 comments:
Dude, REMEMBER THE BUDDY SYSTEM.
Next time I'll throw you to the gay ruffians while I run into the mall for help. And a latte. Maybe a new purse at Bergdorfs.
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