Wednesday, March 09, 2011


As a child, I always used to pretend I was Cinderella. Not because I had an evil stepmother or sisters, but because I was blond, and that limits you to Cinderella or Sleeping Beauty. Sleeping Beauty was a bit too flighty. I mean, come on, she danced with animals in the forest. Cinderella at least just SUNG with the animals. And birds make kick-ass dresses.

Once upon a 2 months ago, I became Cinderella again.

I had a sweet sweet prince Charming. He was perfect in every way. And I had a gown I ordered off the internet with my Fairy God-Visa, and I was ready for the Ball (read: Oscars.) It was a dream come true.

Then my prince dumped me. Happily ever after wasn’t enough for him. He wanted to see other scullery maids.

My ballgown was useless, as I was no longer going to the ball (even though he offered – yeah, like I want to go to the Oscars and watch you put the slipper on some other maid in front of COLIN FIRTH.) And my fairy god-visa needed to be used for more important dreams that I wished. Like wishing to pay the electric bill.

Alas, magical fairy tale returns take 4-8 weeks to process. 4-8 non-magical weeks of prince-less nights, and the smells of rotting pumpkins.

Now it’s 8 weeks to the day, and I just got my dreams returned to me. Instead of my magical and slimming ballgown, I have water and power.

And instead of a prince, I have 2 cats. They don’t sing or make dresses, but you can’t have everything.

No comments: