"You know how to run"

The official band of 'Schrodinger's Kitten', OK Go, is performing tonight at the MTV Music Video Awards, 8pm ET.
Amazingly, they ARE going to do the Treadmill Routine. On Stage. Live.

Witness them hanging around the bathroom this morning asking JC from N'Sync for advice.


You gotta give it to these guys. Running is easy, running in front of millions - hard.

My current job search

Let's Kiss it out, Bitch!

SUPPORTING ACTOR IN A COMEDY SERIES
Jeremy Piven, Entourage

Who knew Hitler was so trendsetting?

Below are the real names of actual real bands-

BRADY BUNCH LAWNMOWER
BULIMIA BANQUET
CINDY BRADY'S LISP
HITLER'S BIKINI
KATHLEEN TURNER OVERDRIVE
NORMAN BATES AND THE SHOWERHEADS
PHENOBARBIDOLS
ROID ROGERS AND THE WHIRLING BUTT CHERRIES
SANDY DUNCAN'S EYE
THE WELL HUNGARIANS

...and my band that I intend to start once I learn an instrument other than flute, which is totally not rocking other than in Anchorman:

DEXTER RILEY

(See the old Disney movies with Kurt Russell if you don't get it)

Pastrami - Portman

I've decided that Pastrami on Rye is located at the center of the universe. It links us all in a karmic and cosmic beautiful way that can only be deciphered by a higher power named Yahweh, or possibly 100 typing monkeys that have already finished with Hamlet. Or me in this blog.

And the that elusive center of the universe where this Pastrami on Rye is located? : Canter's Deli.

Cheryl and I decided to gain 10 pounds so we moseyed on over in the evening to have our self declared 'Honorary-Jew' standby: Egg Cream, Pastrami on Rye, and a Black & White cookie.

I was going to swing by the Museum of Tolerance first to make it a 'Jewish' afternoon, but after seeing a special on the SS in the morning on the History Channel, I had had enough of the holocaust for one day. It's a downer. And probably not what the Jews would hope you'd remember most about their culture. I personally remember them for Pastrami on Ryes...so I'm not very tolerant, obviously. I told Cheryl it really wasn't worth blogging about this day unless I had the whole 'theme' thing going...but she reminded me the night is young, and a theme might still arise.

So we noshed on our sandwiches, and tried really hard not to stare at Natalie Portman at the table next to us.

Cheryl's new haircut looks good, so we spent a good 30 minutes dissecting why she still didn't like it, followed by more non-staring at Natalie Portman. As always at Canters, the wait staff is neglectful and snobby without reason...that new Burger King Pastrami Burger commercial filmed there is pretty accurate. Snobby waitresses don't make for good theme either.

Afterwards, we walked down Melrose, sat in chipped old chairs to read The Onion, and sip Coffee Bean frappucinno-esque beverages. The highlight of the walk was the searching for bathrooms like Indiana Jones and the Temple of the Forbidden Bidet. Who ever heard of a coffee shop with no restroom? And dagummit - no theme yet.

Next came the drinks portion of the evening (here she is...the drinks portion of the evening (to the tune of miss america)) at the Formosa. We spoke of a 'sheet cycle'...meaning how long your sheets are good for...like is it ok to sleep on dirty sheets, and can you invite your significant other to sleep on your dirty sheets, and what if you've been having 'fun' by yourself on those sheets...is that gross, or since the fluids are the same, does it really matter? We've created a detailed manifesto on sheet manners if you care to read it. Alas, no theme there either. Is it possible these random events are truly random?

Dirty sheets are the kind of things we talk about when the waitress serves gin and tonics with the consistency of lighter fluid. And my maitai was straight rum with a cherry. Not my typical mai tai...then again, this isn't the typical joint. I believe the Formosa was cool at one point. It is no longer. There are no actual celebrities inside. Canter's already had it beat with Miss Portman.

So, there you go. That's the end of the evening... and I have no theme, but I do have the six degrees of Pastrami on Rye.

Pastrami, Canters, Tolerance, Fappucinnos, Dirty Sheets, Natalie Portman. Eat your heart out Mel Gibson.

Steve Guttenberg ROCKS

Your date of conception was on or about 1 December 1973 which was a Saturday.

You were born on a Saturday
under the astrological sign Virgo.
Your Life path number is 8.

The Julian calendar date of your birth is 2442283.5.
The golden number for 1974 is 18.
The epact number for 1974 is 6.
The year 1974 was not a leap year.

Your birthday falls into the Chinese year beginning 1/23/1974 and ending 2/10/1975.
You were born in the Chinese year of the Tiger.

Your Native American Zodiac sign is Bear; your plant is Violets.

You were born in the Egyptian month of Paopy, the second month of the season of Poret (Emergence - Fertile soil).

Your date of birth on the Hebrew calendar is 6 Elul 5734.

The date of Mardi Gras on your birth year was Tuesday 26 February 1974.

You are 32 years old.
You are 384 months old.
You are 1,671 weeks old.
You are 11,690 days old.

Celebrities who share your birthday:
Rupert Grint (1988) Chad Michael Murray (1981) Dave Chappelle (1973)
Marlee Matlin (1965) Craig Kilborn (1962) Cal Ripken, Jr. (1960)
Steve Guttenberg (1958) Yasser Arafat (1929) Durward Kirby (1912)
Duke Kahanamoku (1890)

Schrodinger overload

Just an add-on for today -

I have a nifty little mention here for the Carnival of the Mundane being held at Random Yak...and I even get honored with the 'theme' award...

AND I have a nice little interview over here at Monkey Barn full of physics and totally useless information about me. Like my PJ pattern.

Enjoy!

Who are the planets in your neighborhood...in your neighborhood....

Next week, the International Astronomical Union (the godfather of planets) is voting to see if hyped-up Pluto should remain a planet, and if 2003 UB313, the farthest-known object in the solar system and nicknamed Xena; Pluto's largest moon, Charon; and the asteroid Ceres, which was a planet in the 1800s before it was demoted; should be bumped back up.

They're taking a vote on August 24, my birthday, so I feel very tied into this event. It's not often that our universe expands like this. Oh wait...our universe is expanding all the time. Damn my physics education! It makes a mockery of non-universal events like this.

Right now, in Prague...the union is hammering out a definition of a planet...that's expected to take a until next week. then there's also a discussion of a new category: "plutons," referring to Pluto-like objects that reside in the Kuiper Belt, a mysterious, disc-shaped zone beyond Neptune containing thousands of comets and planetary objects. Pluto itself and two of the potential newcomers -- Charon and 2003 UB313 -- would be plutons under this scenario.

If the resolution is approved, and all are classified planets: the 12 planets in our solar system listed in order of their proximity to the sun would be Mercury, Venus, Earth, Mars, Ceres, Jupiter, Saturn, Uranus, Neptune, Pluto, Charon, and the provisionally named 2003 UB313. Per CNN, "Its discoverer, Michael Brown of the California Institute of Technology, nicknamed it Xena after the warrior princess of TV fame, but it likely would be re-christened something else later, the panel said." Really, I don't see why Xena: Warrior planet is a terrible name. It's gay, but not too bad. She's not a wuss. And symbolic as the first lesbian planet in space. Aren't we progressive enough for that? Who says astronomers have no sense of humor?

Mike Brown (discoverer) actually opposes the new definition—even though it would make his discovery officially a planet. He calls the proposed definition "leave no ice ball behind," an approach that's flawed, he said, because it will include far too many objects—53 and counting, he figures. "I'd be sad to miss the chance to have discovered the tenth planet," Brown wrote in a statement. "But I'd get over it." A lovely sentiment by a true warrior prince.

In my old age I don't think I'll be able to remember the new planets. Maybe...Xena is hard to forget, Ceres is juice, and Charon is my mom...so perhaps I can make this work. I don't know what the hell the rest of you are going to do to remember it. But all in all, I'd prefer we don't change them. I spent a lot of time on that styrofoam mobile of the solar system, and if I have to paint 3 more balls, I'm going to be mighty pissed. Even if I get to glue photos of Lucy Lawless to one.

When we find the next planet, I propose we name it Jean-Luc Picard. Someone's got to keep Xena in check.

Yippie-Ki-Yay, Macmuffin!

As Tracy so happily informed me last night..."Hey your little Mac muffin is in a movie."

Yes, Justin Long...henceforth known as 'my little Mac muffin' from the Macintosh commercials, is in 'Accepted', which came out last week. I have not seen it yet. I'm waiting for the audiences to lessen. I think my matinee moaning would disturb the kiddies.

In the meantime, I get to report that Mac Muffin is joining Bruce Willis for the fourth film in the 'Die Hard' series, 'Die Hard: Reset' starting shooting next month. The storyline for the fourth film finds John McClane (Willis) coming out of retirement to battle an internet terrorist group that plans to demolish the world's technological infrastructure. My Mac Muffin will be playing a recently paroled computer expert who helps John McClane (Willis) take down cyber terrorists. In one version of the script, Mac Muffin was supposed to be McClane’s grown-up son, John Jr, but it’s unclear whether he still is, in the latest incarnation of the script.

Off to see Accepted. I'll try not to fall asleep right after, in case he wants to cuddle.

Schrodinger's Brain

I have a confession to make. I've been to Star Trek Conventions. Plural. Meaning more than one. Don't judge me.