Saturday, July 29, 2006

Not bad, for a human.

Here's the EveR-1 robot to my right, created by the Korean Institute of Technology. She's sort of like a real person, but just 'blow-up doll' -ish enough to lull you into a sense of complacency. Thank god she can't move her legs, thus eliminating any chance of her rampaging through the streets eliminating all non-robotic life forms. Unfortunately, not walking means it also eliminates the ability to take her out with just a few well placed shots. If you aim high on the legs it makes the robot fall harder. Also unfortunately, trip wires are pretty useless on seated robots. However, the epic struggle of man versus Korean robot chick will be ended easily when I zig-zag erratically through her vision field to throw off her tracking system and I karate chop her legs while she's distracted by my thermal suit. Although karate chopping sheet metal is going to be difficult.

She's capable of expressing happiness, anger, sadness and pleasure (ick). The Korean Institute of Technology implies her purpose is to provide information in department stores, or read stories to children, but that's what they want us to think. They're not going to come right out and say they're planning global domination. The EveR-2 will stand and sit...what's to stop them from making them dance dance revolution or judging humanity unworthy of life? Danger Will Robinson! Danger!

I'm slightly relaxed by the lack of any buzz saw hands or spinning pincers, however... Hiroshi Ishiguro, a senior researcher at ATR Intelligent Robotics and Communication Laboratories in Japan, has created a robot that looks exactly like himself. That's pretty scary (see second picture). Exactly the type of robot I can see picking up a fork and stabbing me in Fudruckers.

Because really, no matter if neither of these sickly disturbing robots is designed to be soon as they spark and start thrashing in convulsions while looking right at me with beady red Cylon eyes, I'm bailing, because I WILL live to fight another day.

Keep an eye out for obituaries. If Hiroshi dies under mysterious circumstances in his government funded lab, we'll know that there's an obvious explanation. It's obvious that Hiroshi Robot has gained consciousness and in it's first sentient act, has destroyed it's creator.

Aim for the legs, people. Humanity is at stake.


Anonymous said...

Dude, I had to check that that was for real and it is! Time to take that judo class I keep putting off...

Tracy Lynn said...

That is why I keep learning how to make IED's, man.

Cheryl said...

I knew there was something not quite right about Fudruckers.

I am SHOCKED that the geeky scientist with the bad haircut built a hot female robot who has non-functioning legs.