Sunday, February 04, 2007

Occam's Razr

I'm sure you all know Occam's Razor is a logic theory that states that 'the simplest theory is often the truth'. In Latin,

entia non sunt multiplicanda praeter necessitatem,

which translates to:

entities should not be multiplied beyond necessity.

More simply, the theory that uses fewest assumptions is correct.

So when I'm trying to figure out why a guy who asked for my number, and professed to like me didn't call me, I turn to the logic of Occam.

He wasn't laid up in the hospital after a horriffic car crash involving Brandy where he lost his memory and forgot he met me. He didn't win the lottery, get seduced by a golddigger model who turned out to be a man, and after setting fire to himself in horror, realized he burned up my phone number. He didn't wash his jacket, rendering the number impossible to read, spend years searching for me in vain, only to jump on his sword in agony at realizing he lost the love of his life.

And when he puts the number into his cell - you KNOW all those 'lost the paper' explanations go out the window.

As the Sex in the City cliche goes..."He's just not that into you." Blast that Ron Livingston for being so cute and so right at the same time.

A similar, yet different approach comes from Sir Arthur Conan Doyle, who in character as Sherlock Holmes says, "When we eliminate the impossible, whatever is left, however improbable, is the truth."

So when I eliminate the above Brandy-car-crash laden ideas, the only answer is that he doesn't like me. And yes, that's INSANELY IMPROBABLE, but Holmes is right. It's the truth.

Thomas Aquinas made this argument in the 13th century, writing, "If a thing can be done adequately by means of one, it is superfluous to do it by means of several; for we observe that nature does not employ two instruments where one suffices."

So here's my final thought...Life is adequate with one (me). Adding a boy to my life would make it superfluous. But oh, how nice it is to be sometimes superfluous.

Clearly, a Aquinas, Doyle and Occam are smarter men than I when it comes to calling their female friends. Maybe they had better cell phones in the 13th century.


Cheryl said...

I don't know why the boy was such a fake-o, but this is a beautiful entry. Science + social life + good writing = art.

Biff Spiffy said...

Wow then. I need to come here more often. My theory? That guy is an idiot. See? Simple, elemental solution. Occam can be proud, and you can skip along on your merry way.

Schrodinger's Kitten said...

C - Thanks! Boys are always fake-os.

BS - Thanks again! I do tend to do a lot of skipping, how did you know?