Wednesday, February 28, 2007
Jelly Belly Belly
I could be plugging along eating jelly beans...pear, buttered popcorn, root beer, lemon, coffee, pina colada...
and then - like suddenly falling off a cliff...CHERRY. Medicine Cherry. Nasty, disgusting, fresh with your momma Cherry. Dirty foul-mouthed platinum blonde hooker Cherry. Bitchslap Cherry.
I run for water, soda, anything to cut that taste - I roll on the floor, stop drop and roll, still it invades my senses - CHERRY CHERRY CHERRY, ungulfed in that nasty taste until I faint in horror.
When I come to, I begin again... strawberry, mandarin orange, vanilla bean, coconut, lemon-lime...
and then WATERMELON. Sickly sweet gritty gag-reflex Watermelon. Car Salesman Watermelon. Carpet-licking Watermelon.
Gag, choke, what's the universal sign for choking? too late...then ...whoops, there she goes fainting again.
Too much unconsciousness. THAT's why I don't eat Jelly Beans.