Friday, March 31, 2006
The Spiders Strike Back
Remember my post last week about my infestation of DVD stealing spiders? Well, they're expanding from my house all the way to Tarzana! This could quite possibly become a worldwide epidemic!
The DVD 'Cinderella Man' was stolen from my living room by said spiders, hoisted on their spidery backs from Toluca Lake to Tarzana while avoiding detection and traffic, made it's way into the living room of said former loanee John, and finally placed INTO his DVD player. INTO - people! That's one step above getting it out of the case, and clearly indicates a sentient being. I have no idea how they were able to determine his address. Maybe they stole my address book too - I'll have to check tonight. This plan seems a bit unwieldy unless they knew it belonged to him, and were just returning it? Perhaps they just watched it at his house...I'll have to ask him if he heard Russell Crowe in the night.
Detractors from my theory may posit that John neglected to put said DVD into it's case when he loaned it to me, that's why it was still in the player weeks later, but I can kibosh that theory by saying that of course my pal would have checked his player the moment, nay second, that he noticed it was missing. He would never had suggested to me that I lost it, and made me purchase him a replacement DVD. He just wouldn't do that! And even after I posted the theory about the DVD spiders - said friend would have also verified his collection and confirmed that indeed he had not just left it in his DVD player as I subtley claimed in the post. That is simply not possible, so the spider theory remains.
And said friend would also not have told me about the spiders coming to his house if he hadn't seen them himself. He wouldn't have used my blogged story to 'explain-away' his negligence. And he definately wouldn't have giggled like a schoolgirl on the phone while using my commentary on spiders to draw attention away from his mis-deeds, and trying to be 'cute-sie' about it.
So, anyone want to come over and watch my new DVD of Cinderella Man? Anyone but John.