Sunday, June 04, 2006

Aliens!


I really am disappointed.

I had hoped for at least Marvin the Martian, or possibly even a Ferengi, but what do I get?

Microbes.

Alien life has been discovered, or at least, speculated to have been discovered. Little red microbes landed with a comet in India in 2001, surprisingly, nothing has been heard from them since. Their lack of DNA may have something to do with their inability to take over the world. However, I haughtily say that lack of DNA is no excuse for laziness when it comes to global domination.

They are reproducing plentifully, so unless they plan to suppress humans with their dazzling multitudes, I think our new aliens are the hippie rejects of the alien community, who have just come to earth to frolic, reproduce, and hand out daisies to the military. They even hitchhiked here on a comet, I mean, what is more hippie-like than hitchhiking? Slackers.

Pretty disappointing for the first confirmed evidence of alien life. I certainly hope it's a trojan horse, wherein the easygoing microbes lay in wait for the arrival of their Hitler-esque amoeba brethren.

Because cloudy red water doesn't inspire me to betray my planet in conquest of the universe. And I already have my Ming the Merciless dress ready. So I guess I'll just wait.

5 comments:

Hyperion said...

First confirmed evidence of alien life?

EVON have mercy, Sara; that ain't even close.

The Pyramids, Atlantis, Stonehenge, the Man in the Moon, Bulgarians, the cast of Small Wonder, smegma, Alf, The Nephilim, Isadora Peesawood, Spirow Agnew, the Roman Fifth Cohort, Al Gore, Alfred Nobel, the Chupacabra, Temujin, The Tofudebeest, Leonardo (both the inventor and the turtle), Richie Cunningham's mysteriously-disappearing older brother Chuck, the 1964.5 Ford Mustang, the Gabor Sisters, that dress Carrie wore in Paris on the last episode of Sex And the City, Aunt Jemimah, and Eric Weiss.

All confirmed aliens. Do some research first next time. Jeez.

Tracy Lynn said...

5,000 charisma points for referencing the Ming the Merciless dress from Flash....AHHH! Savior of the Universe!

Schrodinger's Kitten said...

Hyp - Fisticuffs will ensue if you diss the dress or my best Sarah...Carrie is GOD in ruffles, what we all aim to be. Hail Carrie & SJP!

I do agree on Small Wonder. Scary!

Tracy - Ahhh!! - He'll save every one of us!

Hyperion said...

You can't tell me she doesn't look like Ursula from THE LITTLE MERMAID in that thing.

And I can't like Carrie or SJP. I've tried to watch the show to appease a certain woman, and I admit there is a quality there, but I can't root for any of the four!

As for SJP, you marry a murderer, you get my hate transferred to you. Those are the breaks.

Egan said...

Did the microbes get your tongue?