Apple/Tree/Not Far

I called my Grandmother recently to cheer her up, and let her know about my being laid off and looking for work in the entertainment industry. Here's our conversation.


Schrodinger: How is your dog Sweetie? Did the vet say she was ok?

Grandma: Yes, she's fine, and the vet is terribly busy, she needs a new receptionist. You used to love animals, maybe you should be a receptionist?

S: I actually have a MFA, so no, I'm not going to be a receptionist.

G: There's always jobs at Boeing, or JPL. Lots of them!

S: Yes, I see them, but you have to have a physics doctorate for them.

G: I'm sure if you just went down there, they'd hire you.

S: It's a government facility. I can't just 'go down there'. I'd get arrested.

G: That's ridiculous. They're missing out then.

S: Yes, they sure are.

G: Have you thought about getting married so your husband can support you while you 'write'?

S: I can hear your air quotes, Grandma.

G: What are air quotes?

S: Never-mind. So how's your library job?

G: Very good - meeting lots of nice people. Maybe the library is where you can meet nice boys.

S: Hum...sure. How about instead I drive up to see you this week. Are you free?

G: Yes! I need help re-wallpapering the bathroom.

S: Actually, that sounds fun...I do like home projects...

G: There's this really nice boy at the hardware store where I got the wallpaper. He's got 5 kids, but I gave him your phone number.

S: Now we're onto boys? What happened to the job grilling?

G: You can meet lots of boys at your receptionist job.

S: Ok then, gotta run. Bye!


Sara hangs up and immediately re-dials Mom.

Mom: Hello?

S: Just got off the phone with Grandma. She's telling me I should get married and be a receptionist.

Mom: I'm sorry honey. Want to move home? Your room is all ready, and I can get you a job where I work. There's even some nice young men there.

S : Click...buzz....