Friday, May 05, 2006

At least Robert Redford Likes Me

And Al Gore. And Ben Bernanke.

I got an e-mail today from Robert Redford. He was just chatting, telling me how much he missed our long chats while sitting next to the fireplace in Sundance, and how I should really get into films, possibly direct him in something. Then he suddenly launches into some rhetoric about the gas hike, the Arctic National Wildlife Refuge, and how I need to go to this link and solve the oil crisis all by my lonesome.

Now, nothing against the man, but why is he e-mailing me so directly (it says 'Robert Redford' in the from box) and yet speaking so indirectly? It's almost as if this e-mail was NOT from him at all, but from some committee using his name to get me to think 'Hey! Robert Redford sent me an e-mail! I knew he missed me!' and get me to open it. Which I did think, and did do.

I feel like the guy in that spam commercial who says 'Who's Nabbucco?' and opens the email just to have his system crash. My excitement system crashed when I realized my buddy Bob had not written me at all.

And Ben Bernanke writes just to tell me he's hiking the Fed. Um...thanks?

Now, in case you're wondering if I'm a bit dense...I did not think that when Al Gore sent me an e-mail. My first thought was 'How did Al Gore get my e-mail?' My second thought was 'Did I meet Al Gore last year?' My third thought is 'Well, he must have heard about me and got my e-mail from Bill Clinton.' So I opened it. I was shocked, SHOCKED I tell you, to realize it was not from Al Gore, but another environmental action committee. How do I get on these lists? I hate the environment! Club all the baby seals! We were here first!

And really, my entire frustration stems from the fact that if Bob Redford REALLY wanted to talk to me, he'd just pick up the phone and call. I know he has my number. It's just rude.


Tracy Lynn said...

Stephen King occasionally calls me during election years. I guess he's pretty busy the rest of the time....

Fitèna said...

I get emailed by desperate former ministers in trouble who have loads of money they want me to help them get out of their countries and they'll give me 50% of the money. I believed them to be too generous to be real and said no thanks!
(Seriously, I got a bunch of those mails and I don't even know these people, another blogger said so too! he's on my blogroll, Jack is the name!)