Saturday, May 13, 2006

god says I'm iffy

I went to church last week - see previous post, I can't link for some reason - and was given a survey to fill out, which I respectfully did not. Most of the survey was 'How satisfied with you with our sunday school program' and 'which aspects of this congregation do you value the most'...but one particular question # 16 on page 2 stood out:

In the past 12 months, have you done any of the following? (Mark all that apply)

1. Loaned money to someone outside your family
2. Cared for someone outside your family who was very sick
3. Helped someone outside your family find a job
4. Donated or prepared food for someone outside your family
5. Voted in the last presidential election
6. Donated money to a charitable organization (other than this congregation)
7. Worked with others to solve a community problem
8. Contacted an elected official about a public issue

It stood out because albeit a logical question about involvement and hits on something very fundamental. Helping your fellow man, and being responsible for your place in society. So here is my response.

1. Yes, I loaned my friend money so we could eat at Disneyland, since her husband won't give her enough 'wifey allowance' to have a good time, which personally includes eating Roast Pork Loin and Mint Juleps in the Blue Bayou. Stupid husband.
2. I can't manage to get my cats to the vet, let alone another person. People don't tend to appreciate vet visits. They take your temperature 'the other way'.
3. Yes, I had a coworker get laid off prior to my layoff, and I called around to see where we could place them. Bastard...stole my position. See if I make that mistake again!
4. I prepared really bad chicken, and after it burnt, I gave it to the local homeless cat. Specifically a cat outside my family.
5. I'm too bitter to talk about it. Freakin Florida. And red states. Red bad.
6. Regularly contribute to Children of the Manhattan Project - which supports historical preservation of the Manhattan Project environs, test site, and education. Also WWF. Not the wrestling. But I support clubbing baby seals. Their cuteness should not go unpunished.
7. I worked with Comcast to solve the cable connection. I like to think this helped my neighbors, as I am less loud and belligerent when I watch Alias. Therefore they sleep better. Really, it's all about them.
8. Is Comcast an elected official?

So...upon reflection, I find I am 75% good person, and 25% pure evil.

But my answer to question #48- "Do you feel any of the following during worship services?" Included bubbling in 'Boredom' and 'Frustration'. (Hey - they included them, I didn't bring them up all on my lonesome!) So perhaps that skews me to 50% good, 50% evil.

Which honestly, reflects my opinions on church, religion, spirituality et al : sort of agnostic, couldn't say, you do your own thing, I'll do mine, zen and the art of motorcycle maintenance, funeral for a friend, elton john, risky investment, ELO, DaVinci Code, devil in the blue dress, Buddhist, Elvis mentality. May James Dean live forever. Amen.


Tracy Lynn said...

I generally feel about God the way most people of right thinking do. It's ok to believe, but nobody wants to hear about. Just keep it to yourself, ok?

Of course, it's a generally accepted fact that I'm going straight to hell.

Schrodinger's Kitten said...

we can start a really cool club in hell. We'll make t-shirts and everything!

Tracy Lynn said...


Dude, I have to say, I am so glad you are back. I missed you when you were 'on hiatus'.

Anonymous said...

"Straight To Hell" performed by either Cory Morrow or Drivin' & Cryin'. I like them both.

Schrodinger's Kitten said...

or AC/DC 'Highway to Hell'?

Cheryl said...

Sara, your cuteness should not go unpunished.

Egan said...

You can't donated money to WWF and be "pro-seal clubbing". That's just wrong. I'm contacting your church today.

Schrodinger's Kitten said...

Egan - 'my church' is really fond of oxymorons like baby seal-clubbing WWF member.

And thanks cheryl - I think that's a t-shirt as well.